LP Beach

Alternate Title: LP Superstar Time


Updates:

FIRE EMBLAM: MAX COLLECTOR'S EDITION XYZ+++ -2ND

Update 1: GIRL OF THE PLAINS
Update 2: GIRL OF THE PLAINS (CONTD.)
Update 3: GAURL OF THE PLAINS (CONTD. CONTD.)
Update 4: LUMBERJACK MODE UNLOCKED
Update 5: SAVVY CAVVY SAVVY
Update 6: RIDERS OF EL LIBRE
Update 7: REBOOT
Update 8: MARF
Update 9: STAR BRIGHT, SWORD FIGHT
Update 10: MELT
Update 11: Refugees From A Lost World
Update 12: Displacement
Update 13: To Another Endangered World




SAPER METROD: REVENGE ON RADLEY
MISSION LOG 1: REPORTING FOR DUTY
MISSION LOG 2: GETTING UP AND DOWN TO BUSINESS
MISSION LOG 3: ALIEN CONTACT


(if you ever have any questions, like any, just ask)

Disclaimer: Any relation or similarities to a real LP are entirely coincidental.

I think in honor of the last great hero that went on an adventure like this, the only correct option for our hero is Marf. Male, June, if it really matters although I don't think it did anything special in the original. Maybe in the rerelease they fixed that?

Imagine LPing Fire Emblem when you could use the emulator for its intended purpose and LP Color A Dinosaur.

Please, why be Marf when we can be Sigud? Male, April, Fire Affinity (of course.)

From what I know about Fire Emblem's gameplay, the most proper protagonist would definitely be Caim. Male, May.

Alva, Male, July 76th.
I mean, he's got blue hair, so he's got to be a lord!

Okay, I don't know a whole bunch about Fire Emblem, but it's one of those Princess Maker sims, right? You collect fancy hats, spend most of the gameplay talking to your colleagues, and once you level up enough, you get to wear fancier outfits. So with that in mind, we need a heroine who possesses refinement and elegance by the bucketload. Someone like Lady Lyndoline von Ronsenburg della Arpeggio, with a birthday in Smarch.

I also vote Marf, the current month is August, and for gender I vote No Thanks.

I think we should be Marky Mark, because I have a hunch we'll be leading a funky bunch here.

I too support us playing as Marf. Not really fussed with the rest of the info.

UPDATE 1: GIRL OF THE PLAINS

Alright, let's get to it.



At the time, this intro was revolutionary, and it's still a true classic even today. It introduces a classically designed hero with the ever so common parental issues of the previous eras in writing, but upsets that with a raw simplicity and almost intentional omission of facts. Truly, LINE's grief and denial can be felt from just this narration alone.

Later games would go to try and copy this, sparking the era of Parentitis and orphaned heroes without nearly as much emotional attachment. It did however cause the disaster of 2002 where many kids struck it off as adventurers on their own, renouncing their parental bonds.



Music: Fire Emblem - Girl of the Plains

What the later copycats failed to include were these heavily grounding elements of characterization. LINE is a character everyone can relate to, but a simple girl who would become a hero. Unfortunately, the fact that LINE is mostly hungover is lost in the localization, but the context is gripping enough for it to still be inferred almost immediately. Getting crap past the censors was a thing at the time, and the team at AntSys has always been expert at it.

Of course, this was also to appeal to more feminine crowds, as many girls could relate to her morning ugly-face and her impeccable sense in fashion. Needless to say, long ponytails and black turtlenecks were very common for quite a long time.



> Yet, as you shake off the grogginess you feel as if you're forgetting about something today. What was it again...?
> What shall you do?

And here we're introduced to LINE's rustic abode. Unlike a lot of games in the era, Fire Emblam put itself towards giving a lot of free and realistic choices that many game companies like Bodywear, Igneous, and Playbetween would attempt to mimic in the future and fail. We've got a lot of freedom on how to progress the game, and what's a Let's Play with out a little audience participation? I leave our next actions up to you.

>pick up [KATANA]
>disembowel any and all beds in the hut with [KATANA]

TeeQueue wrote: ↑

Tue Aug 18, 2020 10:51 pm

>go back to bed

>Realize bed is completely shredded
>Sleep under the stars

kokorikopi wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 19, 2020 11:12 am

>QUICKLY RETRIEVE ARMS FROM CRATE

Remember that arms are already attached.

Commander Keene wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 19, 2020 12:39 pm

kokorikopi wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 19, 2020 11:12 am

>QUICKLY RETRIEVE ARMS FROM CRATE

Remember that arms are already attached.

>Chop up limb arms with sword arms in prep for arm stew tomorrow

Commander Keene wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 19, 2020 12:39 pm

kokorikopi wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 19, 2020 11:12 am

>QUICKLY RETRIEVE ARMS FROM CRATE

Remember that arms are already attached.

Remember that "Arms" has a double meaning.

Or, alternatively, retrieve arms numbered three and above with arms one and two.

UPDATE 2: GIRL OF THE PLAINS (CONTD.)

Tanegashima wrote: ↑

Tue Aug 18, 2020 10:32 pm

>allude in a monologue to your tragic backstory, starting with the star-crossed love of your parents and ending with the events of the night before that have led to your hangover splitting headache

You decide that this morning, that if nothing else is happening, you may as well do a tragic monologue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Music: Fire Emblem - Memories of Green



Your parents, a wandering nomad and a runaway noble lady got married on these very plains...



Life happened, and soon you were born. Together, the three of you lived a life of joy in the grasslands...



Until it all came burning down, a tragic juxtaposition with the beautiful sunset.



...and since, it's been history.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hold on, aren't you forgetting something again?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right, the LRCA tribe tradition of wine juice. After all, you have to honor their memory.

Speaking of that, you still have that headache from all that alcohol sugar.

Greener223224 wrote: ↑

Tue Aug 18, 2020 10:11 pm

>pick up [KATANA]
>disembowel any and all beds in the hut with [KATANA]

Music: Fire Emblem - Battle Theme

You decide to blame your bed for not making you sleep better.



Drawing your blade, you're reminded of your starsign, the BREEZE. Often erratic, uncontrollable, and wild, but sometimes refreshing.



Ah, words to live by.

kokorikopi wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 19, 2020 11:12 am

>QUICKLY RETRIEVE ARMS FROM CRATE

Music: Fire Emblem - Girl of the Plains

Oh plains gods, your arms! How are you doing this without arms?!

Commander Keene wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 19, 2020 12:39 pm

Remember that arms are already attached.

No, wait- you're fine. Arms are still there, not like the last time you did this with your sword. That wasn't fun.

kokorikopi wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 19, 2020 2:14 pm

Remember that "Arms" has a double meaning.

...Er, what was that again? Like, that headache is really starting to get in the way.

Greener223224 wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 19, 2020 1:16 pm

>Chop up limb arms with sword arms in prep for arm stew tomorrow

Ah, right! In native LRCA, "arms" can be a measure of food, as in "arms and arms of it". It's an odd language, really.

However, this knowledge reminds you that you're quite hungry this morning as well. Might as well check the box.



You hope there's something good inside.



...Oh. Right. All you've got left is some of this Medicine Stuff and an Empty Bottle. The bottle's really familiar to you now, it was a regional juice brought for you by your best friend from ILL. Actually, the little note on the medicine stuff suggests she brought that to you as well, something something, making yourself sick, something something.

Unfortunately, there's no food in here. Right, that's what it was you were forgetting: you needed to go to the store or something.

TeeQueue wrote: ↑

Tue Aug 18, 2020 10:51 pm

>go back to bed

Fuck it, might as well just go back to sleep.

Greener223224 wrote: ↑

Tue Aug 18, 2020 11:40 pm

>Realize bed is completely shredded
>Sleep under the stars

Oh, right. Your bed was a traitor and is thus no longer presently usable.

Eh, might as well sleep outside. Not like you already didn't do that a lot anyways.



Ugh, that's right, you forgot that it's morning outside.

> What now? You're out of food, (and juice), you've still got a hangover headache, and no bed. But at least you're sort of up on time.

>Look for bigger house to ransacksleep in
>Immediately attack current "owners"

biosterous wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 20, 2020 8:06 pm

> uggggh you're still in your clothes from yesterday, go back in and change into something fresh

Commander Keene wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 20, 2020 9:09 pm

> Apparently some dumbass passed out nearby? See what's up with that.

>Steal the clothes off the passed out My Unit that was totally dead before you found them and wear those

UPDATE 3: GAURL OF THE PLAINS (contd. contd.)

Music: Fire Emblem - Girl of the Plains

biosterous wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 20, 2020 8:06 pm

> uggggh you're still in your clothes from yesterday, go back in and change into something fresh

Right, you've been wandering around in your underwear since you woke up. MIght as well change to your other pair and put your real clothes on.



That's a bit better. These were the only ones you could find, and you're not sure when you last wore them, but they look clean.

Commander Keene wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 20, 2020 9:09 pm

> Apparently some dumbass passed out nearby? See what's up with that.

Past the headache, you get a sudden burst of clarity and decide to check the hill behind your hut.



There seems to be some green cloak or something laying on the ground out here. It's got a few odd marks and stains, but you're not really sure as to where the owner is.

Greener223224 wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 20, 2020 9:52 pm

>Steal the clothes off the passed out My Unit that was totally dead before you found them and wear those

You stand in confusion for a bit at the strange thought of a "My Unit". You have no idea what that is, or what it would be, but it kind of makes your head hurt whenever you do think about it.

Regardless, you take the free coat.



It's not entirely lacking in style, and it's free, so you can't complain. You could get used to the look. Hopefully nobody questions those stains though.

Shei-kun wrote: ↑

Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:44 am

>Blame the sun for all the poor decisions and take credit for all the good ones

It's in times like these that you remember that the LRCA pantheon of plains gods has no god for the sun, and it is therefore a perfectly valid thing to curse at.



You blame it for your headache, your tragic backstory, and making your bed betray you. Of course, you take the credit for finding this coat.

All in all, this makes your head feel maybe a bit better. Maybe you should do this more often.

Yet, as you stand here, you hear a bit of movement from behind you and over the next hill. You're not the only person out on these plains, though it sometimes feels like it.

Tanegashima wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 20, 2020 4:35 pm

>What's that racket that sounds suspiciously like two expendable dudes with axes, anyways?

Cresting the hill with grace, you come across an opening with two rather grungy men in it and a tent in the distance. You had no idea somebody had set down so close to you.

They seem to be wielding axes and the surrounding trees would suggest them to be lumberjacks of some kind. Sometimes people will come from neighboring towns to harvest materials from the plains.

This would lead the average person to ponder as to why these men would be out here, but...

Greener223224 wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 20, 2020 5:51 pm

>Look for bigger house to ransacksleep in
>Immediately attack current "owners"

...Of course, you're smarter than that. The local BANDITOS that have been showing up on the plains often make a half attempt at disguising their intentions. No, you won't fall for this: your tragic backstory shall not be extended, only your blade.

The nearest one yells at you: "Yar, lassie, yer in the wrong neighborhood!" ... or something like that. If you're being honest, they all sound the same.



You are reminded of how your combat style these days is evolved over what it once was, perhaps a bit more simple but only stronger for it.

Hand on hilt, you are ready to fight.

What do you do?

> Cry havok and let slip the dogs of war.

1/100 odds are guaranteed! Flee for our lives

UPDATE 4: LUMBERJACK MODE UNLOCKED

Music: Fire Emblem - Battle Theme

Commander Keene wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 23, 2020 7:05 am

> Cry havok and let slip the dogs of war.

To heck with these nerds!



You activate your hidden WARCRY Skill. You'll crit 'em off the map!

EMN wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 23, 2020 12:32 pm

>Oh no, a 1% enemy crit! Die horribly and ignominiously and start following the adventures of the lumberjacks bandits.

hey, wait what



right, warcry takes a turn in combat




Well, that was a fast end to your life, but don't despair, you've just unlocked one of the secrets of Max Collector's Edition Xyz+++ -2nd!



So, hey, that's good right?

UPDATE 5: SAVVY CAVVY SAVVY

Okay, so that didn't go so well last time, but we'll give it another shot.

Tanegashima wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 23, 2020 12:21 pm

>Crit them immediately because you're good at that

Luckily for you, they don't stand a chance.



*swishwishswish*



*shing*



You sheathe your blade, marking the end of this hapless fool's life.

Goddamn you're cool.



Fuck. Maybe you shouldn't have wasted all those uses on your bed. Killer Edges are like, really flimsy after all.

Suddenly, as you question the loss of your trusty blade, the other bandito approaches! You need a plan, fast!

Greener223224 wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 23, 2020 9:54 pm

>Ask if "Grbg" means "Garbage or Great Big", then Capture him while he's distracted

You try and strike up a conversation to distract the foe, despite just brutally annihilating his ally. Something seems a bit off here, but honestly, you think it might just be the adrenaline.

"So, uh, about those axes! Is it Garbage Axe or Great Big Axe?"





Success...?

Now's your chance!



Or not.



OW

Okay, there's only one thing to do in a situation like this

Foolycharged wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 23, 2020 2:27 pm

Flee for our lives

You haul ass out of there.



Like, really haul ass.

You go so fast, you don't notice bumping into two strange men on horses.



The one in green speaks first.

Well if that don't take the rag off, a damsel in distress out tramplin' these wide ol' plains! Hair akin to the skies and eyes shinin' brighter than the sun- a sight sweeter than a gold strike! It brings a three-by-nine smile to-
Please excuse the attentions of my partner, he's far more lost in the romantic ideals of the lawman's life than he is committed to upholding courtesy.

Tarnation, CANT, you've drawn too soon! I was just about to begin introducin'! Now, bambina, I am Lawman SAYN, forever at your service. My friend too fast on his taps here is CANT.
Tch, take too much time talkin' the donkey's hind leg off, you do. Anyhow, we are lawmen of Duke CALLEN. You seem to be distressed- can we do anything for you?

Rightly so, my lady, what ails ye upon this morn?

> Uh...

UPDATE 6: RIDERS OF EL LIBRE

Music: Fire Emblem - Lawmen of El Libre

Foolycharged wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 27, 2020 12:56 am

>inform them that I'm the sherrif round these parts and deputize them to go round up some rustlers.

You proudly state that you are the Sheriff of this region in the plains, and that you're requesting their help to take down some tree rustlers. It's not even remotely true, but it's worth a shot.

Why, I say, anything to help a fellow keeper of the peace.
Yahoo, a woman after my own heart, beautiful and justiceful! I am at your very command.

campion wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 26, 2020 12:04 pm

>TRADE with one of them for a new sword

You ask them to lend you a weapon, spinning the brief, dramatic tale of how yours was broken in the first engagement.

Of course, we wouldn't want to ride out without a readied blade! Borrow mine for this skirmish.

Greener223224 wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 26, 2020 7:02 am

rip off the goatee and glue it to your headwound

You know, that near fatal hit you took earlier is starting to bleed. Might as well patch it with this dumb looking beard-



Ah, hold yer horses, lady, you seem to be bleeding. Here, have yourself this bandage.



Well, it's probably more sanitary.

Well, time to go kick some rustler tail!



Music: Fire Emblem - Pardners

Looks like we got a few more than we expected.



Hyah! Hyah! Begone, varmints! Begone from this field of woody cattle!






Trespassing's not tolerated here, and the arm of the law is longer than your thieving axe!



Time for the last one!





A little revenge for earlier, perhaps.



Wow, looks like you got them all! Not so hard when you've got other folks on your side, especially when they've got nice weapons like this sword.



Oh, and you even leveled up! How nice!

(You still curse your poor luck, as after all, you had more than enough FAST to begin with.)

But you know, something's been bothering you this whole time. What was it again...?

Greener223224 wrote: ↑

Wed Aug 26, 2020 7:02 am

>Eat the fedora

Right, you're still pretty hungry, and this nerd has a dumb looking hat.

Leather's still edible, right?



You jump up to yank off SAYN's hat in order to eat it-



wait, this might've not been a good idea

: Why I nev-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR



fuck













damn it

Well, it seems like strange things are going to happen if we do that. After all, CADemu isn't very stable to begin with. Here let me restart-



fuck

Okay, it's broke for good, so I'm going to have to see if I can fix this somehow. Er, uh... _{how the fuck does this work again}

> Awaiting Input

Removing the hat is causing the game to view sayn as a dinosaur to color. The simple workaround is to
>edit the game to make sayn a dinosaur